Although i didnt sleep well last night I woke up feeling content with the world. No inner battles as I normally wake to or dread for the day ahead. I woke up earlier than normal so I had some time to myself, I have forgotten how lovely the early morning is… the sound of the birds chirping and the feeling of the world awaking. I lit a stick of incense and opened the sliding door, the air was crisp and fresh… I inhaled deeply and felt a sense of inner peace. Sitting on the door step in the cool morning air I took a few moments to give thanks to the universe and the Lord for blessing me with this new day, full of new opportunity.
I usually hate the mornings, my anxiety rockets through the roof with all the noise and chaos with the children. This morning was very different, it was calm and organised, and i enjoyed it… alot! Now before you get the impression that I woke up with a hangover every morning let me put you into perspective. I have an underlying problem with depression and anxiety, I am currently not on any medication as i have decided to try do the battle naturally. I will talk about the reasons for my depression and anxiety at a later stage. I am what is know as a binge drinker.. One always turns into one too many, followed by regret and remorse and “oh shit, what happened?!” So, this morning was enjoyable, the first of many to come i hope. The day as a whole was great and although there were a few instances i could’ve completely flown off the handle, I managed to keep my temper under control.
So, Day 6 of no drinking and no smoking and I haven’t had any serious craving for either yet. My appetite has increased alot and i am craving more sugar than normal, chocolate has never looked or tasted this good. I’m also drinking alot of water, especially soda water and taking my mroning vitamins. So far so good.
I have decided to change the way I am going to rate my moods. Originally i thought of rating out of 10, 1 being the worst, 5 in between and 10 the best. Instead I will work on a sliding scale of 0 being great and 10 the worst. Makes more sense when you read 10/10 for depression, would that mean I have wonderful depression? haha..